Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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