his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
