i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
