Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
