No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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