Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he fucked my hip out of place.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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