For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
