Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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