Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
