Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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