weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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