I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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