worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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