Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
