they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
