I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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