dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
