Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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