Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
