It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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