I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
