I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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