He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
