I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
