That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
