these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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