I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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