You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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