so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Farmville is her only friend.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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