I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
