Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I seem to have left my pride at pride
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
