no, he came in my armpit
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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