i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
