Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
