omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and she was petting her beer can
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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