He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize