at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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