worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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