i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
