you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
