i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
