Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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