She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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