We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
