i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
