I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
