you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
