whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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