you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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