he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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