I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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