You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
