so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
