its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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