Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
