Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
