Got a toothbrush?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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