I cannot find my penis.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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