I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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