And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
