How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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