WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
PANTIES FOUND
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