Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
