Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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